I have written before about how my “decision” to be childfree was more of a realization or an epiphany that occurred when I was a teen. As I described this the other day to a friend, I used the word relief. As in, when I realized that I did not have to have children, it was a huge relief to me.
With that description fresh in my mind, I noticed that every day I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have children. When I watch people drag their children around a store (or restaurant or art gallery or movie, etc.), I feel relieved. When someone’s child won’t stop [insert annoying behavior or noise], DH will smile at me and say, “Thank you for not wanting one of those!” When I’m exhausted or ill, I can’t help but be grateful that I am able to get the rest and recovery my body needs.
But it is not just during the bad times that I feel this way. As DH and I lounge on the couch holding hands and watching Star Trek… as I frolic through a zoo… as I spend a quiet evening alone at home listening to music… climb a mountain, walk the steps of the Acropolis, straddle the Prime Meridian, sit around the Christmas tree sipping eggnog, savor paninis at a café – in all of these wonderful moments, I still hear it ringing in the back of my mind, “I’m so glad I don’t have children.”
I acknowledge there are many people out there who enjoy spending time with kids and cannot imagine their lives without them (hey, I feel the same way about animals!). I am happy for them. I’m just relieved that I realized early enough in life that I would not be one of them, and I was able to make decisions accordingly.
I so agree! Very thankful for my life and a husband who also doesn't want kids.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your posts, I feel like they are a reflection of my own thoughts. Don't ever stop writing this blog!
ReplyDeleteI thank God for people like you guys. I'm also a childfree believer (accepted Christ in the summer of '98), and finding a childfree mate seems like a needle-in-the-haystack prospect. Pray for me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments, everyone. I enjoy the camaraderie.
ReplyDeleteAnd Purge187, yes, I will pray for you. I know everyone has a different path, but I found my husband when I was very much not looking!
I started dating my now-husband when I was 18. Long before we were engaged, we talked about children, and I'll never forget the moment when he said he'd be perfectly happy never to have them. That was a HUGE moment of relief for me. Even though I was raised Catholic (where children are a huge deal), I fully believe God sent me someone who shared my desire to stay childfree.
ReplyDelete@ purge 187: Use the internet!! I attend a "mega-church" with 12,000+ members and still had to use a dating website to find 'someone special'. In my profile I was 100% upfront that I was childfree and the decision had been "permanently made" . . . I met my wife: we dated, got engaged, and married exactly 1 year after we met.
ReplyDeleteMoral of the story: There's hope, don't give up!!!!
Hi there! I just wanted to take a moment and thank you for posting this. I almost feel as if I'm in a "child-free closet" and with that being said, I feel as though I am so limited in what I can and cannot say in my small town community. As a 19 year old, most people I know already have made the decision to have children, and I feel interrogated whenever I tell that I'm not sure. The typical response is "What's there not to be sure of?" And while it's in good nature, I always feel a sense of discomfort waft into the conversations I have with people. But now that I have found a place where I as a Christian can go without judgement on the decision to be childfree. Thank you very much!
ReplyDeleteShaina, glad to have you here!
ReplyDeleteI just discovered your blog today, and I just have to say, it is a relief to find other like-minded people! I'm 40, married, Christian, and happily childfree. (I've known since I was 6!) I've been thinking of starting my own blog about the topics you blog about. Lately I feel like I need the comraderie! It's hard to find childfree friends close to my age in the church. Please keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHaving an thankful state of mind towards God, helps us to also be reminded of as well as seeing blessings that are given from God to us every day. :-)
ReplyDelete