It's the time of year when an abundance of people in my facebook newsfeed are posting daily updates on what they are thankful for. Though I try to avoid facebook trends, I have nothing against it, and in fact, it has given me pause for thought about what makes me thankful.
It is also the time of year when everyone around here has been ill with one thing or another. One of my colleagues K has not only fought illness herself, but she has had to contend with the sickness of several children... dragging kids to the doctor, having to leave work early to pick up sick kids from school, missing work herself, and on and on it goes.
I finally lost my battle with one of the bugs going around. I was never quite sick enough to stay home from work, but it did take all the strength I could muster to get through the day and then drag myself home to collapse into bed. Each day for several days, as I allowed myself to rest and recuperate, I thought about how fortunate I was to simply be able to do so. I considered how different my situation was from K's, and all I could think was, "Thank God I don't have kids." When my husband fell sick, I could leave him at home to take care of himself so that I did not fall behind at work.
So while I won't post it on facebook (no need to open myself to the negativity that would undoubtedly ensue), I can share with you here: today I am thankful that I don't have children... that I want to not have children... and that I have the freedom and the capability to make the choice not to have children.
Hi I.Am.Free--Laura Carroll here! We are having an interesting discussion on my FB page re can you be pro-life And childfree? I am interested in your perspective on this. Post is today Nov 15th at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Families-of-Two-Childfree-and-Beyond/139821682696375
ReplyDeleteThanks, Laura, I'll check it out. I probably won't post on facebook (anonymity and whatnot), but I'll think about doing a blog post here.
DeleteAmen! I never thought of that - but I can only imagine how hard it would be to recuperate with screaming kids to attend to. Hope you and your DH are feeling better (and that K is too). I am thankful, too!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Alex. :) We all seem to be on the mend now (fingers crossed!).
DeleteHello! I too am a Childfree Christian. You are SO right when you say "but I have also found that many in the childfree community are quite hostile toward Christianity and a Christian world view." I no longer tweet with a "childfree" hashtag and have blocked a few people b/c of the hostility shown towards me. I was told over and over that I am not "Childfree" b/c I don't have money saved for an abortion. I stopped arguing with them. I AM a Childfree Christian and I AM Pro-life. So glad there are other Childfree Christians out there!
ReplyDeleteJ-La-Sta, I agree that it is often futile to argue with people over this matter (actually, probably over most matters!). And Christian or not, I have yet to see a group of childfree people even agree on the definition of "childfree." Some have a very narrow set of parameters to categorize someone as childfree, and some are open to more diversity in people's attitudes about having children. Personally, I try to listen and be open to the opinions of others.
DeleteThanks for commenting!
I.am.free and J-La-Sta it is so great to see that there are child free Christians! I struggle so much as a 30 year old happily married Christian in the South. My choice to remain child free makes me feel very isolated at times. I don't know one person that has the same feelings as I do about remaining child free in my community; however, when I read most child free blogs or forums, I feel myself identifying less with their values, beliefs, and ways of life than I do with my baby loving friends. I am pro-life as well, and would not have an abortion to remain child free and oftentimes I am disgusted by what many child free individuals say. I find myself stuck between child free Christian haters and pro-baby friends who drive me crazy!
ReplyDeleteDo either of you struggle with feeling "un"Christian because you aren't being fruitful? I know that's a lie, but it's something I deal with.
Just a quick reply to let you know I read your comment (if I have time later, I'll add to my response)...
DeleteI must admit that when I occasionally read religious people's vociferous disagreements with childfreedom, I sometimes wonder, "Do they know something that I don't?" However, none of them have ever been able to provide a cogent, compelling, Scripture-based argument that I am doing anything wrong.
In real life, I have been fortunate that in my Christian circles, no one has ever questioned the morality of my being childfree, so that soothes concerns I might have about feeling unchristian. I think we also need to remember that there are many ways to be fruitful that don't involve biological reproduction! :)
Iam a Christian and child free also, so I feel a little like you do also. That is why I don't fit in church very well because of that. Everybody has children, and we don't.
DeleteI don't feel bad about it though, cause God new I would be this way and I know he loves me anyway despite this, I know he accepts me despite being Childfree. God is much bigger than we can fathom, and he cannot be put in a box. Christians come from diverse backrounds, and not all think alike.
beretta1071, I couldn't agree more. I would also add that God not only accepts us despite being childfree, but perhaps even because we are childfree, if we are following the path he set out for us. Many Christians throughout history (the apostle Paul, for example) have been without children and have been able to strengthen their ministry by not having the distraction of additional family ties.
DeleteChildfree Christian guy here. I've been asking God for a mate for the better part of three years now and so far nothing. I can live with my single status most of the time, but then there are days when I find myself on the verge of suicide at the thought of being alone for the rest of my life. Let's keep each other in our prayers this new year.
ReplyDeletePurge187, keep up the good fight. I'll pray that you find the person you are looking for, but I will also pray that if God's desire is for you to be single, that you will find peace with that -- or that you will find other meaningful companionship / ministry that keeps you from feeling alone. Take care.
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