About this Blog

After banging my head in frustration over the obsession everyone around me had with procreation, I went online to find a community of people who were more like me. I have met some fascinating people along the way, but I have also found that many in the childfree community are quite hostile toward Christianity and a Christian world view. I understand that, unfortunately, many of my Christian sisters and brothers have given them a lot of ammunition (undoubtedly, I have been guilty of this at times too). Not wanting to be perceived as "trolling" for expressing my Christian perspective on other people's forums and blogs, I use my own blog to share my musings on childfree life while at the same time expressing my faith.

My intention is to show support to childfree people, both Christian and non-Christian, but from my own Christian perspective. Questions and constructive comments are welcome; negativity and intolerance are not.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Losing Another Friend?

So, not too long ago I wrote about my unhappiness surrounding becoming an aunt.  Though I talked about my fear of losing my dear brother as one of my closest friends, what I did not mention at the time is my fear of losing my sister-in-law too.

From the first time I met her, I loved her.  She was someone I was thrilled to welcome into our family, a good companion for my brother, an instant friend to me -- and I don't make friends easily.  Pretty much anything I said about my brother in that last post, I could say something similar in reference to her.

But now the facebook drama has begun... pictures of distended belly, unwanted updates about bodily functions or pregnancy side effects, attention-whoring photos and comments (although, yes, I realize that facebook is all about attention-whoring for all people in all areas of life!).  For each offending story, I click "hide."  Unfortunately, until I look at the image in front of me or read at least part of the update, I won't know if it needs to be hidden.  By the time I view it, I cannot wash it out of my brain.  I don't want to have to hide everything she posts; I don't want to lose her completely.  But I wonder how long it will be, how much more I will have to stomach, before I feel compelled to cut her off.

It's not that that I want to dump her as a friend just because she is having a child, and it's not that I won't be able to see her or speak to her anymore.  But I worry that she will never again be that same interesting person I loved.  Someone said to me, "You make it sound as if someone died."  Well, in a sense, this does resemble the death of one personality and the emergence of a new person who could be just a disfigured shadow of what she had been before -- the kind of person I would not have befriended if I had first met her in this state.  How can I not mourn that loss?