I have been reflecting on some of the things I said about justifications in a previous post and about why I felt I needed to start justifying myself. Based on the comments I received about that post, I think that most of my readers understand. For anyone who doesn’t, I offer up an analogy - a composite of first-hand conversations, experiences of friends, or criticisms aimed at the childfree in general.
Q: So when are you moving to Ohio?
A: Wait - what? Ohio? Who said anything about moving to Ohio? I’m not moving to Ohio.
Q: Oh, I just assumed you would. Everyone else you know moved to Ohio when they finished college. Why don’t you want to move there?
A: I just don’t have any desire to. [This is where the conversation should end.]
Q: But moving to Ohio was the best decision I ever made. Surely if you tried it, you would like it there.
A: I drive through Ohio all the time, so it’s not as if I have no idea what it’s like. Plus, I’ve had friends who lived there. I enjoyed visiting them; it’s a nice enough place to travel, but I wouldn’t want to live there.
Q: Well, yes, you have visited there, but it’s different when you actually live there.
A: Yes, I’m sure it is. But that still doesn’t make me want to move there. It’s a big country, and there are so many other places I would rather be if I were going to move. Besides, there are no jobs in my field there right now, and the cost of housing is far greater than what I am enjoying in my current location. What’s the incentive?
Q: There’s your problem. You just don’t have enough faith. If you moved to Ohio, God would provide you with a job, enough money for housing, and anything else you might need to live in Ohio. I think that you are just rebelling against God’s plan for your life.
A: I suspect that if God really wanted me to move to Ohio, he would have given me a clear path in that direction. Not everyone is meant to live in Ohio. There is much work to be done elsewhere. And what do you suppose my life would be like if I moved to Ohio against the will of God?
Catch my drift?
Excellent analogy!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds so stupid doesn't it? -when you change "parentville" for "Ohio". I just wish parents could get that!
ReplyDeleteI had that same thought about God providing you a path. In other words, instilling a DESIRE in you if that was actually the "plan" for you...
ReplyDeleteThis is excellent. Somehow, when people try to convince you that you -need- to have children rational argument technique and listening skills blow out the window.
ReplyDeleteI actually had a co-worker try to convince me that I needed to have a child at some point, 'just to have done it' and that, somehow, my life would not be complete without having the experience of -watching- myself give birth (in some little rear-view mirror), this co-worker was -male- by the way; all this after me explaining that I am tokophobic and would adopt if for some wild reason I did a complete 180 in my conviction to be childfree.