This past weekend we stayed with a friend who has a preschool-aged child. It's no secret to all of my friends and family how I feel about small children, though it is also abundantly clear that I would never hurt anyone's children nor do I hate them. I am kind to children and keep any personal negative feelings under wraps (as I do around the adults I don't like -- I have no interest in stirring up unnecessary conflict). Some kids even surprise me, and I find myself enjoying their company.
This was not the case, however, with our nephew (we call the tyke our nephew even though there is no blood relation). Throughout the entire weekend, my anxiety was sky-high, dipping only when the kid was asleep. I must admit that the most enjoyable part of the trip was when everybody else went out for a couple of hours and I had the house to myself.
The noise, the drama, the tantrums, the interruptions, the demands... Even when he wasn't being obnoxious, he was still unpleasant to be around. My friend said, "Oh, but when the kid says, 'I love you,' your heart just melts." Yeah, I saw the kid say "I love you" -- but only when he wanted to manipulate our friend.
I never doubt my choice to not have children, but if I had any doubts, this weekend would have affirmed my decision. In fact, if I hadn't already had a tubal ligation, I think my tubes would have tied themselves!
"In fact, if I hadn't already had a tubal ligation, I think my tubes would have tied themselves!"
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh soooooo hard! :D
I work with preschoolers and most days, naptime is my favorite time of day. :-P It's great and exciting when they are engaged and working peacefully, saying please and thank you, helping each other, laughing, comforting someone who is crying...but when they are running around the room, beating each other up, name-calling, screaming at each other, fighting over a toy, knocking stuff over when they don't get said toy, oh God....
ReplyDeleteWhen we do visit one couple friend of our's, having now their oldest girl in school now, and one toddler, or whenever we see people with children, we are many times feeling great relief about not having any children ourselves. I am greatly thankful about my husband not desiring having any children too.
ReplyDeleteOne who was earlier a friend of mine, she didn't wanted to have children, though she was also very insecure about this too. Since her husband wanted to have children, she seemed to being willing about getting it with him. And now they do have got one child together.
But when I told her that we are certain about not wanting to having any children, she seemed to not beleiving in this, saying that there is often 1 in the marriage not wanting children, and 1 who does wants it. I even have a feeling about that she thinks she is much more mature now than me since she is now into "motherhood".
I guess that for some people it is hard seeing others getting it the way they would have liked it, and then they don't want to beleive in it going much easier for you than how it did with them. But if we are always going to compete with everyone, I don't see much point nor joy in doing this. And this will only give the one wanting to compete more unhappiness added to them, the satisfaction in trying to trample down other's joys will only be temporary.