About this Blog

After banging my head in frustration over the obsession everyone around me had with procreation, I went online to find a community of people who were more like me. I have met some fascinating people along the way, but I have also found that many in the childfree community are quite hostile toward Christianity and a Christian world view. I understand that, unfortunately, many of my Christian sisters and brothers have given them a lot of ammunition (undoubtedly, I have been guilty of this at times too). Not wanting to be perceived as "trolling" for expressing my Christian perspective on other people's forums and blogs, I use my own blog to share my musings on childfree life while at the same time expressing my faith.

My intention is to show support to childfree people, both Christian and non-Christian, but from my own Christian perspective. Questions and constructive comments are welcome; negativity and intolerance are not.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Swimming Against The Tide, Part II

So, in my last post I spent most of my time complaining about why I don’t fit in and how isolating it can be. I still feel it very keenly, but today I want to focus on hope.

Feeling like no one “gets you” can be difficult and painful, no doubt about it. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it. My last post was written after DH and I had spent a few days away from each other, and I was feeling lost. As much as I hate to be so reliant on another person (hey, my nickname has always been “Miss Independence,” and my tagline is, “I can do it myself!”), he is my greatest ally -- the one who makes me feel “normal,” the one who understands my opinions and preferences, the one who swims against the tide with me. When I am with him, I am different but I am safe and supported.

When I said in my last post that I felt that I don’t even belong on this planet, I realize that feeling is not new-to-the-world either. In Hebrews, Paul* described people of faith as being “strangers and foreigners on the earth” who “desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one” (Heb. 11:13-16 NRSV). Regardless of who we are or what characteristics we possess (or don’t), we believers are all aliens here. My hope is that someday we will find ourselves in a place where we do belong and that those elements that once isolated us will no longer matter.

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis describes this in a way that moves me every time:
Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.

I don’t fit in here, but that’s OK. I’m not meant to.

*I know there is some dispute about the authorship of the letter to the Hebrews. Here I am following the tradition I was taught in my theology classes.


  1. This reminds me of things I've heard my husband say when he feels out of the world at times (or when he's trying to cheer me up when I do). We never will be "of" the world, if we are living the life we're called to as Christians, and it's good to remember that being "in" the world doesn't mean we fit.

    I love your last lines: "I don’t fit in here, but that’s OK. I’m not meant to." I need to remember that more often. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. I just finished reading "Swimming against the tide 2". I feel the way you do a lot. I feel like I don't fit in this world, which is a good thing for as Christians we are not suppose to.

    I hate money, too much stimulation, procreating, drinking etc... Most of the pleasures of this world I do not enjoy except for eating. I do not belong in this world. I don't belong in a capitalistic society either. So overall that is how i'am. But I like who i'am. My identity is in christ and that is all that matters to me.

  3. When I was a young teenager I remember on a trip we went on I had a feeling over me about hating and disliking this world, I wondered if there was something wrong with me since I thought this way. I took up my bible and randomly flipped through the book without watching in it, then I stopped it and opened up the page. This came before my eyes;

    "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
    For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (The First Epistle General of John 2, 15-17)

    I felt so uplifted after that, as well as feeling happy about that there was nothing wrong with me at all. I still hold this experience as very special and dear to me. And something I should keep on reminding myself of whenever I feel as not fitting in.