About this Blog

After banging my head in frustration over the obsession everyone around me had with procreation, I went online to find a community of people who were more like me. I have met some fascinating people along the way, but I have also found that many in the childfree community are quite hostile toward Christianity and a Christian world view. I understand that, unfortunately, many of my Christian sisters and brothers have given them a lot of ammunition (undoubtedly, I have been guilty of this at times too). Not wanting to be perceived as "trolling" for expressing my Christian perspective on other people's forums and blogs, I use my own blog to share my musings on childfree life while at the same time expressing my faith.

My intention is to show support to childfree people, both Christian and non-Christian, but from my own Christian perspective. Questions and constructive comments are welcome; negativity and intolerance are not.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

“I would be so bored.”

While engaged in a discussion on campus about paths in life and about how things might be different if one had chosen the other direction at some fork in life’s road, I was unsurprised that several women focused on their decision to have children.  Certainly, that is the most monumental decision in many people’s lives.  As they described the pros and cons of that choice, I was happy for them that their kids gave them satisfaction in life and motivation to return to (or begin) college, but I was perplexed at one theme that was repeated:  “If I didn’t have kids, I would be so bored.”

Now I will wholeheartedly agree that I have more leisure time than most parents I know, so I can understand how a parent might be so busy that she forgets what she used to do in her past free time.  But to remember it as boring, or to think that her current life would be boring if she weren’t running around after kids (especially when she is a college student and has plenty of studying to keep her occupied)?  I guess I don't get it.  I know I sometimes use my time frivolously on lazy grocery shopping trips or on watching TV, and other times I am productive through volunteerism or work around the house.  Either way, I have no difficulty finding something interesting -- and, more often than not, constructive -- to do.  In fact, I frequently find myself running out of time to do all the things I would fancy doing.  As such, it makes me wonder if some people simply lacked imagination pre-parenthood, as if they did not know what to do with themselves so they created another person who would dictate their daily activities.  To each her own, I suppose, but I prefer to be more proactive with my life.

On a bit of a tangent, it also reminds me of something an adult told me when I was an adolescent: “An intelligent mind is never bored.”  And let’s face it… when we say we’re bored, don’t we really mean that we don’t feel like doing any of the things we could or should be doing at the time, like cleaning the rain gutters?  (I have been guilty of that!)


  1. Interesting to say that you have kids because you would be so bored otherwise... It's kind of demeaning for the kids in my opinion. As if they have a job to entertain...

    I don't have kids, never will, but I rarely feel bored. I don't know if I have an intelligent mind but I do know I have a very creative one so I almost always find things to do :)

    My blog is one example where I'm creative and even though it's not directly about childfree issues I do use it as a vent to mock all irritating people around me, parents are one category ;)

    By the way, I think it's the first time I finally got the time to write a comment here. I've following the blog for sometime...

    Take care!

    1. Thanks for the comment. :) And I do think that creativity is a sign of intelligence, or one of the many forms of intelligence.

  2. Bored? Really? Wow...sad for them. I am anything but bored!

  3. Hi, I just discovered your blog tonight and have read nearly every post now :) It's really encouraging that a fellow Christian can be happily childfree as I hope to continue to be!
    I'm 18, just starting university and ever aware that the following years are the time in life where I'm most likely to meet future husband. I have a few concerns though; meeting a Christian guy is hard enough, but one who shares the same values, and one that you actually fall for adds to my problem. And even if I found all of this, how likely is it that he would also wish to be childfree?! Not to mention I share your introvert-ness, so finding all of this is likely to be even harder!
    Reassurance needed. x

    1. JEM, I think a lot of people are in your situation (childfree or not) -- looking for that perfect match who has compatible goals for life -- and it can be daunting. I wish I had some magical reassurance to offer you! :) I, along with many of the folks who comment on this blog and many of the folks I have "met" on other forums and blogs, have found childfree Christian mates, so clearly those folks are out there.

      Since you mentioned being 18 and starting university, as I think back on that time in my life (now I'm feeling old!), some advice that comes to mind based on my own experience is to look for ways to meet Christians your age through clubs on campus such as Intervarsity Christian Fellowship or through the college groups at area churches. And I don't just mean to go on a man-hunt, haha. Aside from sharing what you have to offer and getting the support of Christian friends, you may meet a dear friend who will someday introduce you to your husband-to-be.

      Also, be open to whatever the future may hold. Perhaps you will not marry, and that is just fine too. Perhaps you will meet the perfect man who has an adolescent child, doesn't want any more kids, and you will accept being a stepparent. I firmly believe that when your mind and heart are open, God will send you exactly what you need, and you will be ready to take it.

      Whatever your path may be, I wish you the best.