Many of us childfree folks have heard this bingo before, generally from a condescending parent who disrespects our multitude of reasons for not wanting to have children. However, perhaps more frequently I hear it (or some version of it) as a postscript to a parent’s tirade about all of the horrible things her children have put her through; so often, in fact, that it has become a cliché. I often wonder, do people say it out of guilt? To convince themselves that it IS worth it? Or is it actually worth it?
Undoubtedly, for some people it is worth it. I too have done difficult things in my life that were ultimately “worth it” (graduate school comes to mind). I know people who never - or at least seldom - complain about their children or about parenthood, and I can completely believe that parenthood is worth it for them. And yet I also have had people admit to me that if they had it to do over again, they would not have children. Apparently all of the trouble isn’t worth it to everyone.
Years ago, advice columnist Ann Landers, in response to a query about having children, asked her readers, “If you had it to do over again, would you have children?” She received over 10,000 responses, 70% of which answered NO. While this in no way implies that 70% of all people wish they had not had children, it does tell us that around 7,000 of Ann's readers had experiences that were unpleasant enough to compel them to write to Ann. That’s a lot of readers!
This sort of reminds me of the events surrounding the story of Noah in Genesis 6, when God expresses sorrow for having created humankind. If God himself can regret having children, it doesn’t surprise me that human beings could feel the same way about their offspring.
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