About this Blog

After banging my head in frustration over the obsession everyone around me had with procreation, I went online to find a community of people who were more like me. I have met some fascinating people along the way, but I have also found that many in the childfree community are quite hostile toward Christianity and a Christian world view. I understand that, unfortunately, many of my Christian sisters and brothers have given them a lot of ammunition (undoubtedly, I have been guilty of this at times too). Not wanting to be perceived as "trolling" for expressing my Christian perspective on other people's forums and blogs, I use my own blog to share my musings on childfree life while at the same time expressing my faith.

My intention is to show support to childfree people, both Christian and non-Christian, but from my own Christian perspective. Questions and constructive comments are welcome; negativity and intolerance are not.

Monday, August 3, 2009

It’s Not About Me, Me, Me

Although my primary reason for not having children is that I simply do not want them, and further I feel called to not have them, I also believe that it would be selfish and cruel of me to impose this world of suffering on a child. In that sense, I have some mild antinatalist leanings. Being keenly aware of the misery of life, I quite often think that I would be better off to never have been born. I am not clinically depressed nor suicidal, but I am a realist. Each of us is born with a death sentence, and the closer we move toward our expiration date, the more loss we experience: a friend killed by a drunk driver, a grandparent losing a battle with cancer, heart attacks, plane crashes, old age… not to mention the daily trials of illness and injury, stress, and dealing with nasty people.

Please don’t get me wrong - I recognize that I have a wonderful life with a loving husband, dear family, fulfilling career, rewarding volunteer work, beautiful possessions, and precious pets; and I am extremely grateful. And yet, if someone had shown me this world before I was born and asked me whether or not I would like to come into this world, even knowing what my life would be like I would have declined the offer.

This is indeed one reason that I cling to my faith. If this life is all there is, and once we die we just disappear, well then someone might as well kill me now. It’s all a big waste or some cruel cosmic joke. However, if there is a heaven, then someday I might truly appreciate that I came into existence. Even the apostle Paul said, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) I am reminded of the old chorus we used to sing at church…
“It will be worth it all when we see Jesus.
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ.
One glimpse of his dear face all sorrow will erase.
So bravely run the race ‘til we see Christ.”

Recently at church, the pastor spoke about suffering and about our tendency as humans to ask why. He concluded that it is not for us to know why, and then he said something that struck me to my core. I don’t remember his exact words, but the message that seared my mind was, Life in this world may not be worth it to me, but perhaps my life is worth it to God. My toils here are part of a greater plan, and this isn’t about me. It’s not about my pleasure, it’s not about my relief when I finally make it to heaven, and it’s not about what I am getting out of this deal. It’s about God’s purpose, something that is worth it to him. (This was kind of a “duh” moment - something I have always known - but sometimes you need to get smacked over the head with something to help you remember it again.)

This is not to say that God is unsympathetic to my condition. After all, he has blessed me beyond what I could have ever dared ask. But this is to say that when I have those dark moments like the prophet Elijah, I need to remember that living on this world is not all about me, me, me, and I must remember to listen for the still small voice of God to point me back in the right direction. (I Kings 19:4,12)

One final thought from Revelation 21:4: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” This is our hope!


  1. The verse from Revelations is one of my favorites. In choir we sing an anthem around that passage. I am glad you are here. You do make a difference.

  2. I do really think it is very encouraging reading through your blogs. Even my husband is reading it too, and he finds it equal interesting. ;-)

    I hope you don't mind that I am reading through your older blogs as well as responding to some of them?

    1. Not at all. I'm glad you are enjoying them, and thank you for your posts.