I find conversation about kids and child-rearing really boring. (I thought about calling this, “You used to be interesting until you had kids,” but I decided that was a little unfair. Read on.)
I was at a party once where a guy monopolized a conversation by talking about comic books for probably a good hour. Few of us could get a word in edgewise, and even when we did, the conversation kept going back to comic books. I and everyone else in the room grew completely bored; some people left. Eventually I just zoned out, possibly even taking a short nap in my chair.
I have no problem with someone collecting and enjoying comic books. As a kid I read them myself, and as an adult I frequently enjoy comic-based movies and TV shows. I could even quite happily entertain a 5-minute conversation about comics. But I don’t have the interest to hear someone drone on and on and on and on…
I have a similar experience when people talk about sports. I don’t care for sports, I don’t watch them on TV, and I’m not even sure which teams represent my state or which team names go with which sport. (The Buffalo Sabres… ummm… do they play baseball?) I do run regularly for my health, and I participate in organized 5k races to help keep me motivated -- but I don’t even enjoy running.
Consequently, when conversations turn to sports, I roll my eyes a little and hope that the subject changes soon. I don’t judge people for being interested in sports, I don’t think sports are bad or evil, and I might even enjoy an interesting anecdote or two about something funny that happened at a game. But I cannot stomach extensive interchanges about scores, statistics, and who traded whom to what team.
The reason I bring up these examples is that I feel the same way when I’m stuck in a group of parents swapping kid stories. However, when someone voices the opinion that conversations should be about more than just parenthood, some parents become extremely defensive. I don’t hate you for being parents, I don’t hate your children, and I do understand that parenthood is an important and integral part of your life. But to me, you are being comic-book-guy or sports-obsessed-guy -- a big boor who cares only about what you have to say.
I’m sure that if I waxed on incessantly about the antics of my cats, about the politics in department X at my workplace, or about the care of houseplants, you would be just as bored. So how about if we all try to focus on those around us instead of being too intent on what we have to say about ourselves?
I agree with this post 110%. I just don't relate to "mommies" so when that's all they talk about, I have nothing to input, no vested interest in the topic and quite frankly, I get bored too!
ReplyDeleteI love to talk a lot about our dog, as well as other dogs she interacts or plays with. ;-) :-)
ReplyDeleteI think one enjoyes to talk about what one has interests into, so if you join into a group of parents it makes sense you might get stuck into or feeling left out 'cause of loads of typical parent topics. Same as the other examples you gave.
It is of course nice to also include others in a group, as well as changing a topic into what everyone have something to say or share. I just think that we all might go through some of these types of experiences now and then. Same as how it was in school, when the teacher would ask how many would like to have class outside and how many would prefer staying inside, then the most hands raised up wins, and one has to just go along with the rest, whether one likes it or not. A bit of the same when you join a certain group where most people have commun interests, it is more likely that the most amount of people sharing same interests will win over.
Although I do agree about us thinking also of the others around us, and to being as including as we possibly can be. This will be an issue that we cannot always change it's direction. ;-) More to hope that it will change sooner or later, like you said, too. :-)